MEN vs WOMEN

WHY MEN STOP TALKING WHEN THEY HAVE PROBS?

Men go into their caves or become quiet for a variety of reasons.

1. He needs to think about a problem and find a practical solution to the problem.

2. He doesn't have an answer to a question or a problem. Men were never taught to say "Gee, I don't have an answer. I need to go into my cave and find one." Other men assume he is doing just that when he becomes quiet.

3. He has become upset or stressed. At such times he needs to be alone to cool off and find his control again. He doesn't want to do or say anything he might regret.

4. He needs to find himself. This fourth reason becomes very important when men are in love.

At times they begin to lose and forget themselves. They can feel that too much intimacy robs them of their power. They need to regulate how close they get. Whenever they get too close so as to lose themselves, alarm bells go off and they are on their way into the cave. As a result they are rejuvenated and find their loving and powerful self again.

WHY WOMEN TALK WHEN THEY HAVE PROBS?
Women talk for a variety of reasons. Sometimes women talk for the same reasons that men stop
talking. These are four common reasons that women talk:

1. To convey or gather information. (This is generally the only reason a man talks.)

2. To explore and discover what it is she wants to say. (He stops talking to figure out inside what he wants to say. She talks to think out loud.)

3. To feel better and more centered when she is upset. (He stops talking when he is upset. In his cave he has a chance to cool off.)

4. To create intimacy. Through sharing her inner feelings she is able to know her loving self. (A Martian stops talking to find himself again. Too much intimacy, he fears, will rob him of himself.)

Without this vital understanding of our differences and needs it is easy to see why couples struggle so much in relationships.

Taken from: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus